Murphy's toddlers laws
- When you need to carry a child they will want to walk.
- When you want them to walk they will want to be carried.
- When you bring the stroller they will want to walk.
- When you forget the stroller they will want to ride.
- The more potential a food has for stains the greater the coverage area when it is hurled by a child.
Corollary: The more potential a food has for stains the more expensive the item of clothing/fabric/furniture it strikes.
The corollary was sent by Grotblik - A child's favorite one day is never a favorite the next day (especially food).
- The intensity of the tantrum is directly proportional to the amount of people around to witness.
- If it's mine it's mine,
if it's yours it's mine,
if I like it is mine,
if I can take it from you it is mine,
if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
if I think it is mine it is,
if I saw it first it's mine,
if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
if it is broken it is yours. - If I make a mess you must clean it up
- If I broke it, its your fault
The last two laws were sent by Rose Wassef - The louder you speak and the more you repeat something is inversely proportional to the amount of information taken in.
- Soccer, Dance, Basketball, Softball, Piano, Girl(Boy)Scouts (etc.) is always on the same day with less then 5 minutes between.
- The more preparation time for the meal the less likely a child is to eat it.
- As soon as the snow suit, and all of the paraphernalia that accompanies, is on the child will have to use the bathroom.
- As soon as the child is in the car and the car has left the driveway the child will have to use the bathroom.
- The clothes/shoes you bought last week will not fit this week or will not be "cool" enough for this week.
- The amount of sound from the other room is inversely proportional to the amount of trouble the child is getting into.
- The more you paid for the car seat the more the child will hate it.
- When you are in a hurry the child will dawdle.
- The greater the importance of the phone call the bigger the mess the child will make or the louder the tantrum the child will have.
Sent by Stacy Robarge - The availability of daycare is directly proportionate to how badly you need it.
- Your child will always wait until you are fully dressed for work before spilling their food on you.
The last two laws were sent by Acacia Anderson - The later you let a child stay up at night, the earlier he will wake up in the morning.
Sent by Mary Streeter - If I hid it well enough it will always be mine
Sent by Jennifer Parkins
