Murphy's toddlers laws

  • When you need to carry a child they will want to walk.
  • When you want them to walk they will want to be carried.
  • When you bring the stroller they will want to walk.
  • When you forget the stroller they will want to ride.
  • The more potential a food has for stains the greater the coverage area when it is hurled by a child.
    Corollary: The more potential a food has for stains the more expensive the item of clothing/fabric/furniture it strikes.
    The corollary was sent by Grotblik
  • A child's favorite one day is never a favorite the next day (especially food).
  • The intensity of the tantrum is directly proportional to the amount of people around to witness.
  • If it's mine it's mine,
    if it's yours it's mine,
    if I like it is mine,
    if I can take it from you it is mine,
    if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
    if I think it is mine it is,
    if I saw it first it's mine,
    if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
    if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
    if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
    if it is broken it is yours.
  • If I make a mess you must clean it up
  • If I broke it, its your fault
    The last two laws were sent by Rose Wassef
  • The louder you speak and the more you repeat something is inversely proportional to the amount of information taken in.
  • Soccer, Dance, Basketball, Softball, Piano, Girl(Boy)Scouts (etc.) is always on the same day with less then 5 minutes between.
  • The more preparation time for the meal the less likely a child is to eat it.
  • As soon as the snow suit, and all of the paraphernalia that accompanies, is on the child will have to use the bathroom.
  • As soon as the child is in the car and the car has left the driveway the child will have to use the bathroom.
  • The clothes/shoes you bought last week will not fit this week or will not be "cool" enough for this week.
  • The amount of sound from the other room is inversely proportional to the amount of trouble the child is getting into.
  • The more you paid for the car seat the more the child will hate it.
  • When you are in a hurry the child will dawdle.
  • The greater the importance of the phone call the bigger the mess the child will make or the louder the tantrum the child will have.
    Sent by Stacy Robarge
  • The availability of daycare is directly proportionate to how badly you need it.
  • Your child will always wait until you are fully dressed for work before spilling their food on you.
    The last two laws were sent by Acacia Anderson
  • The later you let a child stay up at night, the earlier he will wake up in the morning.
    Sent by Mary Streeter
  • If I hid it well enough it will always be mine
    Sent by Jennifer Parkins
  • If they hide it under their bed, you will:
    • Relocate it when they graduate from high school
    • Find it when it begins to rot
    Sent by
  • When leaving the house without an extra set of clothes, they will render the clothes they have on nwearable
    Sent by from the Successful Homeschooling blog